thrill me.

Disturbed— an adjective that best suites my mental and emotional status. I don’t know why I am feeling this way. I just wish this would go away. I have lots of things to do that need my full concentration but this state hinders me from doing so. Instead, Here I am typing, letting this feeling pass out. I have open but unread notebooks and books beside me. I am trying to find my center from which I will see what causes this. Do I lack inspiration? Do I miss somebody? Do I want to talk to somebody? Or it’s just that I am so lazy and tired to study and to go to school?

What the hell! Every day is just a repetition of itself.

 I am sick. I want a break. I need a break. I am worrying but I don’t want to worry because it brings me nowhere.

I am letting time fly even though I badly need it. I am doing this post even if this is not so important. I feel like waiting (really) even though there’s no one and nothing to wait for.

Am I not satisfied with the things going around me? Maybe.

Sometimes I wish for something but when that something comes, unfortunately, I change my mind.

Sometimes I think about a person (not necessarily a special someone) but I would end up with a dismay, thinking that this person doesn’t think of me or doesn’t even remember me.

Sometimes I think of catching up with a friend. But I end up not doing it. (urrggh!)

Thinking about how other people view me makes me more disturbed. (Well, It’s my fault it think that way)

I just realized, this post contains numerous thoughts of different cases but involves only myself.

Asking myself of what do I want? What do I need? Or is it who do I want? And who do I need?

I am afraid I don’t have the answer right now, I am afraid there ain’t and there will be no answer at all.

Still, I am disturbed. Is it because I have cough and colds? Is it because of the weather?

I don’t really know! And It sucks.

Am I really disturbed or am I just confused?

I don’t want to think but I need to think.

I don’t want to move and put myself into work but I need to.

To study—- the most important responsibility I need to fulfil but sometimes it just gives me boredom. Boredom even if lessons are damn hard and complicated, even if I am so toxic.  I can’t even understand why I am feeling such way.

Every day is exactly the same!

I am not in the mood.

Can somebody thrill me???

Posted by: Dianne Peña | 01-20-2008 | 04:01 PM
Posted in: Rhapsodies