letter of hope.

I was browsing a book at the library where I accidentally found an unsealed letter inserted at the latter part of the book, I opened and read it. It says:

    Hey, here’s something that I’ve been keeping for a long time. I would just like to let you know that I got a crush on you ever since we got close. Every time I see you my heart pounds and when you talk to me, it pounds even more. I don’t know why I suddenly felt that way with you, you were just someone who would just pass by me and not look. Well maybe you were there when I needed the most.

    What I like about you is how I can tease you and you don’t get mad, how we would joke with each other, how you will make “lambing” and how I will punch and spank you without showing it hurts. Another thing is that, how you would get my stuffs but I don’t mind. I find it cute and that made me like you even more. We never really have the chance to bond, but every time we talk even if it’s just quick I felt I am in such bliss.

    I love the feeling of knowing that someone is there to fight for me, someone who doesn’t want to see me cry and gives me the feeling of being protected. You made me felt all those things when I am with you. I don’t know if you are just that type of person to everybody or if it is just with me but every single day of teasing and laughing is a day where I unconsciously fall for you. It’s funny how I always think of you, there’s never a day goes by that I don’t think of you and hoping that you think of me too.

            It really made me blue when I learned that we will not be together anymore. Since then, I missed you and ray that one day we would bump into each other again. An answered prayer when one day we saw each other, your hug felt good that I wouldn’t want to let go, also the day when I found out that your ultimate wish finally came true, you had your girl. I was really happy for you, but there’s this strange feeling I never expect I would feel, a prick in my small, poor heart but never did I show.

 I can clearly remember those little dreams we’ve made together, I just wish it’ll come true. I always wait for your texts and calls, I always pray we’ll have the chance to talk but now, I am afraid it would happen for there’s she where you would give all your time and your love. You don’t know how excited I am to see you, I can’t sleep but I just have to. I sometimes think I look stupid and always running after you, for I would always find you and try to reach you just to talk and see you. Well, I hope not.

There’s someone waiting for me but I don’t want him because I look for you. Days, weeks and months when I realized that I’ve really fallen for my friend, for you. You made the easy way to my heart and me not knowingly that you got there. By those cute and charming gestures, by those jokes that I wish they’re for real, by those words I love to hear and by those little and bubbly acts which make you so dear are the things that made me stuck into you.

I know it’s too late and this can never be for it will just complicate things. I know you’re happy and I don’t want to ruin that but if I got to choose how my future relationship would be, it would be how we are with each other and if I got to choose a boyfriend, he will be someone like you and how you treat me, I know that’s impossible but I just wish.

I really want to take care of you. I want to make you feel the love I know how. I want to be close to you. I want to be with you. I want to feel your love and how you will take care of me. I guess you’re shocked by the things I just said for I am showing you the opposite of what I really feel. I was also shocked with what I feel and what I just felt but don’t worry this feelings I have is not on the extreme and I don’t have any plans for this. It’s Ok and I know this will eventually fade away.

This feeling doesn’t bring me to tears but instead, brings smile to my face for I’ve fallen for such a peculiar person like you.

If you don’t get the chance to read this letter, then I guess you’ll never know.

This is my little confession that I don’t want to be sorry about. I know this is cheesy that it will even make you laugh and don’t believe but now it makes me wonder, “How do you feel for me?”

P.S

I don’t know why I suddenly planned to write everything to you. Maybe, I just want this thing out of my system for I know we can never be.

Love,

Dianne…

It doesn’t say for whom it is, all I know is I want to keep it because the person who have written that has the same name as mine. On the other hand, I want to close and return it for there was a hope in me that someday that someone will be able to read it and they would find destiny or even serendipity in their hands.

To have given this letter would make me feel very happy and to have found this letter and this letter is really for me would make me love this person in an instant…

Even if this letter is long, I don’t find myself bored for I find it very sweet yet I find the writer so scared and was just felt a rush to have fallen in love. She was trapped by the words FRIENDSHIP and A NEW RELATIONSHIP where she should not destroy. I felt lucky to have found this letter, is this coincidence for we have the same name or it’s because we are in the same situation? Nahhhh…

Love, Love… Love…So mysterious….So mushy… =)

Posted by: Dianne Peña | 02-06-2008 | 01:02 AM
Posted in: Rhapsodies