I am not beautiful
I have flaws inside and out
I am just ordinary for many
I feel am in monotony
I don’t really compare myself
I actually have high self-esteem
But seeing people greater than me
Makes me see what’s less of me
Some would appreciate me
Some would just walk through me
Why do I feel this way?
This time I know the answer
I know I am beautiful in my own ways
But it’s the way you make me feel nothing
I feel like a small piece of trash
I am beautiful. I am beautiful
What’s the sense of controlling my mind
When what matters is what you say
I know you don’t like me but
You’re the center of my attention
This is not a big deal really
And it’s more of a compensation
You are “just” my crayon
But you bring my life to its direction
This is just as simple as a joke
But you’re the reason why I can flash a big smile
This is my bad
I shouldn’t have made step to get close
“Hindi ka naman talaga importanteng tao sa buhay ko, pero dahil kulang ako sa inspirasyon at dahilan para gawin ang mga bagay na kailangan at dapat kong gawin, ikaw ang nakita ko na maaaring magtulak sa akin para kumilos at gampanan ang mga dapat kong gampanan.Hindi naman kita gusto at higit pa kung mahal. Tanging paghanga lamang ang aking nadarama. Ngunit dahil sa idinudulot mong mga ngiti na matagal ng nakatago sa puso ko, ikaw ay napapalapit kahit hindi nararapat. Hindi nararapat dahil simpleng paghanga lamang na hindi ganoon kalalim ang nararamdaman ko sa iyo aking kaibigan. Inaamin ko na wala ka talagang ginagawa para maramdaman ko ito. Talagang sinadya ko ito para lamang may mapagbuntungan ng pansin at kahit papano ay magkaroon ng kulay ang buhay kong paulit-ulit lang. Ang kaso lamang, kung minsan ay nagsasabi ka ng mga bagay na sobra kong ikinatutuwa at nagbibigay sa akin ng pag-asang mayroong patutunguhan ang ating pagkakaibigan, ngunit kung minsan ay bigla ko na lamang maiiisip na “Oo nga naman, naglolokohan at nagbibiruan lang kami.” Hindi ko dapat seryosohin ang bawat sasabihin mo, hindi dapat ako maging masaya sa bawat mangyayari sa atin dahil alam kong sadyang ganoon ka lang at malabong ito ay magkatotoo. Ipagpatuloy lang natin ang ganitong sitwasyon habang ito ay masaya at nagbibigay ng aliw sa ating dalawa. Huwag lang sana akong mahulog habang tayo ay naglalakad at baka hindi mo ako masalo. “
~ I just read this composition in a piece of paper, ripped from a notebook and crumpled. I would just like to share this with you. This goes to all ladies/ gentlemen who have their so called –CRUSHES. This is the first Filipino post in my blog. I hope you’ll like it.
Walking through a busy street at night alone
Feeling the cold breeze as people goes home
Walking with my hands swaying
Unconsciously I found myself feeling my fingers
Then I end up holding my other hand
I realized, I miss the feeling
The feeling of having someone who fits perfectly to your fingers
A hand that would always keep you warm
A hand that would never let go
The feeling of someone sliding his fingers to yours
No matter how long, it doesn’t matter
Even if sweat is all over your fingers
You don’t care, because with that you feel your worth
Holding my other hand didn’t give the same feeling
More so, it just add to the feeling I want to suppress
The feeling of needing love
The feeling of being in love
